All I Want for Christmas…

If I could have ONE last wish it would be to hug my late grandparents one more time 😦 to tell my aunt and uncle how much I loved them and how much they meant to me before cancer took them away from us way too soon 😦 Time is the one thing we don’t get back and we can’t make more of but we realize all that way too late 😦 This Holiday Season I will give PRESENCE not presents and that’s all I shall ask for in return 😦

I can keep saying that I hate holidays, that they don’t mean anything to me and that I don’t celebrate. My late Grandma would slap me across the face (NOT gently) if she heard me say those words. She loved holidays and she celebrated every occasion. She turned the saddest ones into beautiful memories of a life well lived. What I really hate is being without my family and old but golden friends. Why celebrate if the people who made it meaningful are not there?!

I came to the USA 10 years ago to pursue a Master’s in Marketing and Advertising, then stayed to build a career in Online, Digital, and Social Media Marketing. I ended up being damn good at it and incredibly successful at my job. Miserable and lonely nevertheless… Studying abroad and following a career path with a lot of job changes and moves across the US, however, made me miss ALL my friends’ weddings in Europe, the births of their children and being there for them through divorces, family drama, and loss of loved ones. Because it is presence in the toughest moments that counts 😦 Now so many years later, I wish I had gone to all the weddings. I wish I hadn’t missed those moments.  I wish I had made relationships a priority. I wish I had said “To hell with it” to all jobs, projects, bosses, and corporate bullshit. Sure, it paid the bills, but it also broke my heart 😦

This year when my plans to spend a month around the Holidays in Europe fell through (yet again), my parents chose to not leave me alone in the US, got on a plane and came to visit instead! They say dreams come true on Christmas. My Mom hates winter, the cold, and the snow. It has always been her dream to spend Christmas by the ocean under a palm tree. This year we get to make Mom’s dream come true, spend the Holidays on the beach in California, and maybe even decorate a palm tree (or a pineapple :-)!

I don’t know what’s next in life. Definitely NOT work. I hope I can find the strength to focus on what’s really important. And I hope I find a partner to share the rest of my life with. This year I shall give PRESENCE and NOT presents.

Before you go to bed tonight, remember to hug your loved ones, kiss them goodnight, and find more time for what’s really important. Do it for me…because I’ve got no one to hug 😦 And to hell with work, important projects, even more important bosses, and strict deadlines. I work in Marketing and Advertising after all, I don’t man the ER!!!



  1. WOW! Well said! Very, very well said. For what it is worth, you are so Present with all the people you meet on your travels, I bet most of them will never forget you. You may be missing out on sharing in the lives of your old family and friends, but you certainly are contributing to the lives of everyone you touch in your travels. Thank you for all you give.

    Liked by 1 person

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