5 Reasons Why My Snowboard is a Better Winter Companion than Your Boyfriend

After writing How to Survive Ski Season Opening Day with a Snow Crazed Girlfriend, originally commissioned by a Canadian outdoor apparel company and later republished by a major US women’s ski and snowboard manufacturer where I explain in detail why you never ever want to start the ski season with me by your side, time has come to add another silly post to the “ski / ride like a girl” sequence. As that famous Burton t-shirt saying goes:
“When I ride with my boyfriend he always lets me finish first!” #gotthetshirt #iridelikeagirl

Yes, my GNU snowboard has custom graphics of naked skiers from the 1970s – it is the tongue-in-cheek response from GNU women’s series to the Burton Snowboards male model with naked girls 🙂 I didn’t buy the board for the graphics, although I absolutely love them and they are the best conversation starter in any resort. I bought the board at a huge online sale despite of the graphics. Apparently no girl wanted a board with naked skiers and the price had dropped to 1/3 of original rate so poor me suddenly became an “expensive board” owner. In the last 5 yrs I have ridden my GNU around the world and I have seen only one other similar board – of course I took a picture 🙂

1) My snowboard is ripped and in shape! How about your boyfriend?
GNU (and LibTech) have magnetraction on the edges (serrated knife effect for ’em icy patches and hardpack) and a spectacular reversed camber shape on the base for float, pop and maneuverability. Is your boyfriend so pimped out?

2) My snowboard is always ready to go. How is your boyfriend’s endurance?
No matter how often I ride it, my snowboard is always willing for more (as long as I lube it often enough – did I actually write lube – wax, I meant wax 🙂

3) My snowboard always brings me pleasure. Does your boyfriend guarantee that?
Damn this board is such a fun ride, not once did I say – this time it could have been better!!!

4) My snowboard never bucks me off. How is your boyfriend’s performance?
Whether I ride it gentle in powder or I carve groomers with gusto, my snowboard responds to my style and accommodates my wishes.

5) My snowboard doesn’t cheat. You can ride it ONLY if I let you! How about your boyfriend?

Had a good laugh? No? Tell me what you think! I bet you’d like the following posts too:
The Endless Winter – Snowboarding the American West
Mermaid Does Mountains

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